he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
