Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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