And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
