This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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