went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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