i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
