dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
