We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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