I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
