I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
