Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
