I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
