You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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