Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
