I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
