Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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