ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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