So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
