i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ketchup is God's man juice
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
