FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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