But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
