I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
