if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
