We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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