no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
