He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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