Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
