Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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