Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
porn star boner night. come get it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
