to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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