Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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