this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
