So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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