I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
