I'm going to jail i love you
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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