then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
A+ Viking dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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