good thing vaginas are great cup holders
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pooping to opera.
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