Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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