i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
