well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
