best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
