I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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