I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
