love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had sex on a roof
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
