There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize