haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
