WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
