He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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