this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize