We're facebook friends in real life
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
