Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
