I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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