so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
