im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So vagazzling was a success
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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