It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize