i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
