You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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