The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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