You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
