i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
