Yo dont text me then not text me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
