My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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