You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
