The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
