Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
